I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
