Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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