And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
