do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
