so explain again why im purple
no
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
