he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
