I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
