At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
