Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
