He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize