Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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