Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
