whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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