Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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