I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Enjoy the penises
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
