So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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