Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
