Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
