Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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