so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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