Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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