piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
