Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
