its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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