hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
