I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
