My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
