sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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