So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
