im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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