so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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