i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
