He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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