life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i think my tv is drunk
it's like iHOP with fire
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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