i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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