Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
