i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
