just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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