talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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