he puts the penis in happiness.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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