So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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