Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
