I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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