My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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