For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
