Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just high enough for therapy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
