I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
