once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
