1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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