i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
