I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
