Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
