yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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