Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
