the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
