yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
