you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
