she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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