I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
