nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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