The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I smell like Dick and happiness
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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