I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
