He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
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I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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